Reactive Patterns: The One Cause of Every Problem In Your Life
It’s 5:00PM. You’re battling the afternoon commute. Traffic is moving slower than your 97 year old grandmother and every horn blare and brake squeal is a teeth-gritting assault to your senses. You turn on the radio and, after switching to every station on your tuner, you decide it’s all just chaotic, ugly noise. You can literally feel the the tension building through your shoulders and neck. You’ve had a stressful day at work and all you can really think of is getting home, eating something fatty/salty/crunchy/sweet and then sitting in front of the TV until it’s time for bed. As you’re driving, you pass by that fast food place you always used to go to as a kid. During a half-baked argument with yourself weighing the pros and cons of stopping in and grabbing something quick to eat, you hear the words “Welcome to [popular fast food place], how can I help you?” Yes, your car magically found it’s way into the drive-though.
Later, as you’re chowing down on your double-patty mondo burger, you’re filled with an almost spiritual sense of peace. As you make love to this fatty, carb-loaded, chemical laced jewel of perfection, you wonder if life could possibly get any better. All your problems have spontaneously disappeared. You turn on the radio and instead of the mish-mash of discordant noise you were presented with earlier, it’s now the smooth melodies and warm tones of your favorite songs; your ears revel in the luxurious rhythm. Your breathing has shifted to a relaxed and comfortable pace. The tension has been purged from your neck and shoulders; replaced by a warm softness that gracefully encourages you to sink into your seat. There you are in all your drug-induced glory and all the angels in heaven are surely smiling down on you.
Minutes later, the inevitable guilt and subsequent gas rips you from your sweet escape. You plead to yourself in utter exasperation, “Why do I keep doing this if I know it’s so bad for me?!” The answer, my friend, is that you’ve been caught a reactive pattern. While it’s nothing like the pattern on that sweater you got from your great aunt Martha last Christmas, it’s just as ugly and even more destructive. Reactive patterns make you feel weak and out of control, they limit your choices and they are the cause of every problem you have. Left unchecked, reactive patterns will completely destroy your sense of self, your health, your finances and your relationships.
The 21 Power Principles
Over the past year I’ve had the pleasure of being taught by people who have some astonishing clarity about human behavior and personal transformation; people like peak performance strategist, Anthony Robbins, family therapist and trainer, Dr. Cloe Madanes, and transformative communication expert, Dr. David Wolf, among many others. What I’ve learned has rocked the foundations of my world and redefined what’s possible. The results my clients have been getting as a result of integrating these new approaches has absolutely blown me away. To give you a better idea about how I do my particular brand of personal coaching, I felt inspired to create a list of the guiding principles…
3 Keys To Developing a Super State Management Ritual
Have you ever had an awkward, uncomfortable conversation with someone and walked away thinking, “I can’t believe I said that!”? (If you answered yes, then give yourself a pat on the back and acknowledge yourself for being one of 6 or 7 billion human beings who have all experienced the same thing.) On the flip side, have you ever had a great, uplifting conversation with someone and walked away thinking, “Yeah, that was me!”? Chances are you’ve had both of these experiences, but what’s the difference between them? Why did you say all the wrong things in the first example and all the right things in the last example? The reason there was such a profound shift in your behavior from one experience to the next is not because you became a different person, but because you were in a different state. This is just one example of how different states affect your behaviors. With your body and mind, you have the ability to experience a wide range of emotional states. The different states you experience are associated with different automatic behaviors. If you’re in a tense, introverted state, then tense, introverted behaviors are automatic. If you’re in a happy, outgoing state, then happy, outgoing behaviors are automatic.
Learning how to effectively manage your emotional state is the most important skill you could possibly learn in your life. Why? Because the quality of your life is a reflection of the quality of the states you continually experience. If you want to blast beyond your current limitations, contribute to the world at the highest level, and generally have a great life, then you must learn how to manage your state in an effective and positive way.
